So about me blogging again.. life is crazy.


This will probably be a post of randomness, but that's how my brain is working recently.  After giving birth to the newest family member, life has understandably been extremely busy!  Also, our ministry year has started up again as of April 1st and my husband is in full teaching-mode with our missionary training program.  I'm still trying to figure out what my role is this year... right now it is to be the Mama!  Of course, being in ministry, there are responsibilities which just don't stop, baby or no, and I have been keeping those to a dull roar while trying to get "back on the band wagon" of normal life with an infant... whatever that is!  To her credit, Caterpillar (the baby), is one of the best sleepers EVER... she's been only waking once a night since her arrival home and continues right on the clock to this day.  Now she's also starting to go to bed at nearly the same time with Firefly and Ladybug... so Mama has a few minutes to figure out "tomorrow" before crashing into bed before the 4AM feeding.

This is a new season of life... I've turned 30 recently (well, in the past 6 months) and with a new baby and many new things going on in our life, ministry-wise, I feel that the Lord continues to draw me closer to His heart.  I am currently going through the Cynthia Heald study entitled "Becoming a Woman of Simplicity".  My mom brought it to me on a recent visit and it has been SO encouraging and appropriate for this time of my life!  From the outside, especially to American eyes, our lives look chaotic... hectic... even ruthlessly busy.  There are a lot of things to "do", not much time to do it in, and not many hands to take the ropes and help tow the lines.  Such is missionary life, I'm learning.  SO... what does a fairly tired "new" (it has been 5 years) mom do in these times?

Abide. 

I have an amazing husband... he is my partner in every sense of the word.  Recently, when I realized that getting the baby fed, getting myself ready, making breakfast, and getting Firefly out the door for school was nigh unto impossible... PLUS... I wasn't able to be in the Word most of the day once my feet hit the floor.  I was drowning in my "to-do" list without having time to just "be" at my Savior's feet.  I cried out to the Lord and to my husband.  They were both MORE than accommodating and DH graciously took the morning shift.  Now I wake up, spend an hour or more in the Word, and wait for Caterpillar to wake up so I can feed her.  I know this can't last forever, but OH. MY. has it been a wonderful treat in this particularly busy season.  DH takes Firefly with him, makes them breakfast, gets her backpack and lunch packed up to go, and to boot, brings me my coffee mid-devotional.  What a guy!!!  How blessed I am!

So... I've had the TIME I need to do that abiding.  It is absolutely essential to my survival as a mom and as a missionary.  I am learning to keep my hand in my Father's and only go where He leads.  He is my Shepherd and I only have to go/do/say what He permits.  No more feeling pressured and obligated to say "yes".  He's in control, not me!  What a freeing change of mind He's given me!

Not that there aren't still struggles... not that I don't still worry "what people will think"... not that I don't despair over how many meetings I have to attend with my 2 littles in tow... BUT, I know that my Shepherd is guiding me and is keeping me in His love.  He is providing and changing my heart as we go.

Another amazing book that is touching my heart right now is "Jesus Calling".  (Mom left me that one too...).  I love reading it each morning and marvel at how nearly always the Lord uses it to bless my heart in just the right way for that particular day.  I'm also able to share it with others at timely moments who are going through the same types of trials.  God is so good...

My heart sings at all that the Lord is doing!  I can't wait to see what He brings next!

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